Sweet Treasure

Tomorrow we have a follow-up appointment with Dr. Earl to do another ultrasound and see what kind of growth is occurring with Treasure's cancer.

I have to say that I initially didn't think she'd be with me for Thanksgiving. But we are coming up on three months since the diagnosis - one month longer than was originally thought.

I have cherished each day that she appears healthy. And we have had more than a handful of "bad" days when her meds gave her some gastrointestinal distress.

Today I have felt a little apprehensive. There is an underlying fear of what the ultrasound will show. My natural inclination is to retreat from my fears, giving an appearance of "All is well", when inside I know it may not be.

Graham and I are planning a trip to Pennsylvania in two weeks. Back in August I comforted myself with the thought that Treasure would be gone by then; thus I would not worry about her during the separation. Now, what should make me happy has given way to that nagging fear again. If she goes into crisis, I want to be with her.

Tomorrow should give me some answers. I may not want to hear them, but they will be answers I need to have. Meanwhile, we'll continue to take each day that comes as a gift... and be glad.